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“I think I found the silver lining of my break up.” I was comfortable. Very comfortable. We lay there together for an hour or so, talking softly, nothing too deep. Just inconsequential things about school and homework and sports. Yet, despite the comfort, I, being the dumbass that I am, had to break it. “Erin, why? You seemed against this, but then agreed to it? Why?” “I was never against it silly. I’ve wanted you for as long as you’ve wanted me.” I must have looked confused, because she continued after a few seconds. “I mean, I wanted you, but I never rationalized it to myself, I just pushed it down, thinking those feelings were dirty and unnatural. I didn’t think it would be a reality until you told me and then kissed me.” I smiled at her and kissed her forehead lightly. “As long as I’ve wanted you? You mean, since the talk we had about James?” “Mmhmm” She snuggled into my chest a little tighter and wrapped the blanket around us. She closer her eyes and spoke softly to me.. It was a full-sized bed and I was lying on the right side -- the side next to Dave's alarm clock and his portable radio and a Sound Machine with the sounds of ocean waves and the clickity-clack of a train rolling over the rails.Sleeping aids.Dave, apparently, didn't need any sleeping aids that night. He quickly took his place on the other side of the bed, lying on his right side, back-to-back with me. It was only a regular-sized bed, and neither of us was a particularly small person, but there was lots of room between us. Eddie could have come in, and slept comfortably in the space between us.I'd really meant it, when I'd told Dave that we weren't going to have sex. I knew he really meant it, too. He'd said he didn't even have a condom in the house. Well, I didn't tell him, but unless one of us had a social disease, he wouldn't have needed a condom. I was on the Pill, and had been for a long time.I was, after all, a 22-year-old college senior. My virginity was a long-ago not-so-fond.
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